Words aren’t the only way we communicate, or even the most important. As we all know, texts or emails are incomplete ways of communication, since they lack the context, tone of voice, and other nonverbal cues. Words alone can be cold, confusing, frustrating, and even misleading.
Whether we’re aware of it or not, nonverbal communication conveys at least as much information as our words – if not more. The term includes things like tone of voice, facial expressions, body posture, hand and arm gestures, and other ways we express ourselves without speaking. Nonverbal communication also includes the ways we present ourselves to the world through clothing, hairstyles, and symbols. Each of these offer clues to who we are, and add to verbal messages.
This article will discuss some of the main ways we express ourselves nonverbally. We then discuss how we can improve our nonverbal communication skills.
These are some common examples of nonverbal communication. Each type gives clues about the message being conveyed – or to the reaction of the observer or listener.
Haptics / Touch. There are many forms of nonverbal communication via touch, ranging from handshakes and fist bumps to hugs and kisses. Touching conveys friendship, connection, and sometimes intimacy. But touching can also mark power relationships. When a higher status individual pats a lower status individual on the back, it may be interpreted as a display of dominance rather than as encouragement. Inappropriate touching can undermine the intended message.
Gestures. Gestures include any deliberate motions of hands, arms, or the whole body. They can range from eye rolling to shoulder shrugging and a variety of hand and arm motions. Gestures can emphasize one’s spoken words or comment on the words of another by indicating impatience, boredom, and the like. Many gestures vary in meaning from culture to culture. Gestures considered friendly by some people may be seen as rude by others.
Kinesics / Body Language. Body language can include gestures, but it applies more broadly to body posture, the position of the arms and legs, and amount of body movement. Rapid movements or pacing may indicate agitation or distress, while a relaxed pose may indicate receptivity or agreement. It’s important not to overgeneralize. Crossed arms or legs don’t always indicate resistance, for example.
Proxemics / Distance. Proxemics refer to the “bubbles” of personal space we keep around ourselves in different situations. These “bubbles” of personal space can vary by culture and degree of intimacy. Distances may range from a few inches for close friends or family members to several feet for strangers. Picking an inappropriate distance – especially too close – can undermine the effort to communicate (“You are getting into my personal space!”).
Facial Expressions. Facial expressions convey a great deal of information in any personal encounter. They can emphasize the words spoken, soften their impact, or even contradict them. We often notice expressions before hearing a word, leading us to expect a particular message. When message and expression are not aligned, confusion or even hurt feelings can result.
Paralinguistics / Tone. While words are important, the way the words are spoken can convey just as much meaning. Speaking in a loud voice, for example, may indicate enthusiasm, but also anger or frustration depending on other clues. An ironic, sarcastic, or condescending tone may indicate that the speaker’s meaning is the opposite of the words spoken. On the other hand, a positive or enthusiastic tone of voice can reinforce and emphasize the spoken words.
Eye Contact. Maintaining eye contact while speaking or listening is often interpreted as showing interest, truthfulness, or respect. Failing to maintain eye contact is often interpreted as the reverse: lack of interest, untruthfulness, or a “weak” character. But these judgments are culturally bound. In other cultures, looking into the eyes of another person may be seen as rude or as an effort to assert dominance.
Appearance. Clothing styles, hairstyles, shoe styles, and color choices are just a few of the appearance choices people make to convey information about themselves. Different professions have official or unofficial “uniforms,” though these norms are more relaxed than in the past. Physical appearance (height, weight, attractiveness) can also be a source of judgment.
Artifacts. Family pictures on an office desk, choice of avatars in an online forum, art on the wall, or insignia like ties, rings, jewelry, and pins all provide clues about how individuals see themselves – or wish to be seen. Artifacts can be any objects or symbols people use to communicate their status, tastes, opinions, ideals, preferences, or group membership. People spend considerable energy developing sets of symbols to define themselves.
Become aware of your own nonverbal communication. The first step to improving nonverbal communication skills is to become aware of what you’re already doing. Pay attention to your voice, tone, and gestures. How does your voice sound when you’re happy? How about when you’re stressed or upset? How do your gestures and posture change in different situations?
As you become aware of the different elements of your nonverbal communication, notice how people react to you. Do people turn toward you or away from you? Do they move closer or farther away? Notice when different reactions occur. How were you feeling in each case?
Become aware of the nonverbal communication of others. Once you’ve begun to understand your own nonverbal signals, compare how others use nonverbal communication. Notice the gestures, facial expressions, and tone of voice they use. What information do you get from nonverbal signals? Do they match the words spoken or conflict with it? If someone says they’re fine while slamming a door, they’re sending mixed messages. Paying attention to nonverbal communication can help you get to the heart of things when interacting with others.
Nonverbal communication has a deep and rich history, and we’ve only scratched the surface. If you would like to learn more about nonverbal communication and improve your interpersonal skills, we are happy to help.
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TEP.Global not only has a combined 100 years of experience and expertise in people management, talent acquisition, executive assessment, but also deep knowledge in building teams and workplace culture in organizations of all sizes. For more information and insights, please contact us.
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